Don't Just Isolate from Stressors--Create Joyful Moments

Many institutions and systems would ask a person to conform to it. But it is not likely to work with an Aspie. Instead of bending the Aspie, consider selecting environments and communities to fit him.

One of the ways I seek to accomplish this for Ian is to evaluate each opportunity--are there clearly defined times when there is free play, guided activity and simple to understand must do's to earn privileges. Do the humans demonstrate flexibility and grace once the activity begins or are there frequent interruptions and amendments to the routine?

Lists and routines that are tangible--clear cut to almost computer programming specificity might annoy a neuro-typical person, but seem to alleviate frustration and misunderstanding for Aspies. They will even cite an algorithm as case law to defend their stance. Do not take minute detailed clarification personally as sarcasm--their non-verbal and tone intelligence is not necessarily appropriate to their debates.

For that reason, I found that communicating with people through chat was a lot more rewarding than in-person. I found that I got to know more people better with less frustration on both sides, embarrassed myself less often, and felt like I accomplished something even when we were in "small talk".

So, when I moved forward from isolating stressors to Ian (which can cause him to become hermit-like), towards discovering and incorporating joyous moments and activities, I found that there are people and activities out there that fit him! e.g.

Osh--taste and texture, simplicity of flavors
Salmon Sashimi--"it makes me feel warm and fuzzy..."

Ian seems to avoid any food item that is squishy like avocado or mashed banana like in his mouth, or stringy like ligaments in meat or string-like in vegetable.

Escape Adventureplay--intense physical activity with heroic affirmation and challenge. Predictable patterns.

Tae Kwon Do--intense physical activity, predictable, cumulative. Visible level up awards.

Hip Hop Dance--intense activity, cumulative choreography that is predictable.

Ian likes collecting visible signs of achievement such as belts and trophies.

Bassoon--low bass sounds and vibration, complex patterns for fingering Lego blocks--open ended play with clear rules constructs and few limits Mindcraft--electronic equivalent of Legos.
Songs--Ian does not like tenor/soprano sounds that are shrill or warble. He prefers deep bass notes with resonance.

One of the ways to discover what works is to ask questions and investigate why Ian obsesses over anything he likes or dislikes. Allow him to tell you why it is important to him, then you can extrapolate and infer what he finds important and why. Then I can identify other environments, activities and people might be enjoyable and appropriate for him.

~ Shien

Your Pilot might be an Aspie

While reflecting on successful people in certain specialized careers, it occurred to me that Aspie traits can be very helpful there--for example trained pilots follow checklists religiously. I think of Monica's uncle who is a pilot, following every line item on that checklist every time, lest he skip it one time when it was important! The pre-flight, flight and post-flight manuals are literally stacks of these algorithms and checklists.

Since aviation is inherently risky, these checklists have to be written with no ambiguity and with tangible, measurable results. So it dawned on me that Ian might like using checklists.

So, I decided to try an experiment one after school. As Ian settled, I scribbled out a list of tasks with suggestions and examples of each and a specific time due for each task:

3:15pm  Arrive Home
3:20pm  Unpack Backpack
3:25pm  Change out of uniform
3:30pm  Have snack e.g. apple
3:40pm  Wash lunch tubs and waterbottle
3:45pm  Music--play bassoon
4:15pm  Exercise e.g. Hip Hop routine or Wii Dance
4:45pm  Play, invite Aria to participate
6:00pm  Dinner

The list removed the snarky, forgetfulness, arguments, and instead, fostered a responsible and proud Ian.

I still tend to task-bomb Ian by adding or changing his routine on a whim, so I illicit the groans, but I now have a small notepad on the coffee table to facilitate amendments to the checklist...

~ Shien

Don't Obsess with Behavior, Consider Stimuli too

Here's an article that is helpful...

~ Shien

Hyper- and Hypo-sensitivity in Children with Asperger’s and High-Functioning Autism

Children with Asperger’s (AS) and High-Functioning Autism (HFA) often fluctuate between hyper-sensitivity (i.e., being overly sensitive) and hypo-sensitivity (i.e., a lack of sensitivity) to unexpected stimuli in the environment. For example, at one moment a touch or noise may make the child jump or scream, while at another moment she may not respond when parents call her name – or she may act as if the rest of the world doesn’t exist.

For neurotypical children (i.e., those without a spectrum disorder), unexpected stimuli is relatively predictable and anticipated. For example, they expect a loud noise when seeing someone using a hammer, but not when a pillow falls on the floor. They anticipate a hug or a kiss when a grandparent is approaching them with open arms. Even when they don’t notice someone walking up to their front door, the first knock may startle them, but the subsequent knocks don’t, because they anticipate more than one knock. When their mother starts the vacuum cleaner, the noise may surprise them, but they quickly predict that the noise will persist for a while, and they adapt to it. If it is not raining now, they don’t expect rain soon. Thus, for neurotypical children, the world is reasonably predictable – particularly in the near future punctuated only by brief surprises.

In contrast, many children with AS and HFA have difficulty with prediction and anticipation. To these young people, a loving hug by grandma may feel like a shocking squeeze, and noise from otherwise routine events may be largely unexpected and frightening. As a result, they are frequently startled by stimuli in the environment and they overreact. The AS/HFA child’s weak predictive ability makes many daily events very stressful, which contributes to his or her high level of social anxiety. This explains hyper-sensitivity.

As a defense against constant surprises from the world, as well as against overwhelming sensory stimulation and the inability to (a) employ “selective attention” (i.e., focusing on one thing at a time) and (b) “filtering” (i.e., ignoring certain environmental stimuli), AS and HFA children may “suppress” stimuli for long periods of time (i.e., they shut it out and retreat into a world of their own, unaffected by all that goes on around them). This explains hypo-sensitivity.

Hyper-sensitivity primarily occurs due to poor prediction. The AS and HFA child often over-reacts to unexpected loud noises or moving objects. But, it is not the noise or motion itself that is frightening. The youngster himself can happily make as great a noise as any that he is afraid of, and he can move objects about to his heart's desire. He may not want his grandmother to touch him, but he will go and touch her. This is because “self-generated” noise and “self-initiated” touch are relatively more predictable and thus less surprising.

In additional to unwanted surprises, “poor adaptive adjustment” also contributes to the AS and HFA child’s hyper-sensitivity to constant(non-surprising) stimuli (e.g., background noise in an airplane, florescent lighting in the classroom, skin pressure from clothes, etc.). Neurotypical children adapt to such stimuli because they can predict their persistence, and as a result they are able to ignore the stimuli. This “adapting and ignoring” skill helps neurotypical children to label background stimulations as “unimportant.”

When a youngster receives a diagnosed of AS or HFA, educational priorities often focus on behavioral interventions aimed at development of social and communicative skills, while the youngster’s sensory needs are often ignored. As paradoxical as it seems, sometimes AS and HFA kids benefit from being misdiagnosed as having visual and/or auditory impairments. Being placed into an environment where their sensory difficulties are addressed may help these young people to respond to social and communication interventions better than if they were placed into a typical environment where the main emphasis is only on training in social/communicative skills.

AS and HFA children should be protected from painful environmental stimuli. For example, in the case of visual/auditory hyper-sensitivity, visual and auditory distractions should be kept to a minimum. Tactile hyper-sensitivities should be addressed by choosing the clothes and fabrics the youngster can tolerate. If parents or teachers can’t hear, see or smell some stimuli, it doesn’t mean that the AS/HFA youngster is being “ridiculous” if distressed by “nothing at sight.” 

Parents and teachers need to consider the level of “sensory pollution” in the child’s environment. If there are several conversations in the same room, ceiling fans blowing, florescent lights buzzing, and people moving around, the AS/HFA youngster with sensory hyper-sensitivities is sure to be overwhelmed.  However, if the youngster is hypo-sensitive, extra stimulation through the senses that don’t get enough information from the environment should be provided.

Understanding the way children with AS and HFA experience the world will help parents and teachers to respect them in their attempts to survive and live a productive life in a “sensory-unfriendly” world. If we understand how the AS and HFA youngster experiences the world and how she interprets what she sees, hears, feels, etc., we can design treatment programs in accordance with her perceptual abilities and deficits. Understanding each particular child’s specific difficulties and how they may affect her functioning is vital in order to adopt methods and strategies to help her function at home, school and in the community.

http://www.myaspergerschild.com/2013/04/hyper-and-hypo-sensitivity-in-children.html

Using Helpful Medications and Supplements

We have been told that AS kids are extremely sensitive to most medications, so start with a much smaller dose and ramp up for effect. Consider buying a pill cutter. Examples of medications that have been helpful for Ian are:

Tryptophan--regulates serotonin and related hormone production. Ian and many AS kids will show that they cannot make their own tryptophan. It is also naturally found in poultry and eggs so a diet that features these foods are helpful

Vitamin B12--seems to be very helpful for quick mood enhancement. We prefer the ones that dissolve under the tongue.


Magnesium. seems to be very helpful in managing a list of issues common to AS issues. We also prefer the liquid form as Magnesium is difficult for most bodies to assimilate.


Efalex--this Omega Oil and Evening Primrose pill seems to calm the hyperactivity symptoms with little side effect. It also seems to cause a contentment and assist processing of thoughts.

Melatonin--helps facilitate deep, contiguous sleep. Without it, going to bed 2 hours later, waking up after a few hours of fitful sleep and struggling to go back to sleep after tossing and turning for hours is common.

Aerius--allergy medication for skin outbreaks. Expensive. Without this medication, Ian's skin breaks out into rashes quickly.

Fucicort--topical Fucidin and Cortisone cream to treat bad rash outbreaks that look like they are getting infected. Ian is allergic to sulfur-based drugs, and so cannot use triple-antibiotic such as Neosporin.

Hydrogen Peroxide--much less painful than alcohol for cleaning topical wounds and angry rashes.

Medicated Powder--useful for stinky boys' feet and preventing prickly heat rashes.

Prednisolone--risky for long term used, but when taken in brief spurts over a few days, this oral steroid can stem a blooming skin rash.


When it is time to end taking medications, we have discovered that it is wise to take a few days to ramp down medications in shrinking doses, especially those with emotional/hormone-influencing characteristics. Going cold-turkey can cause massive, scary mood swings.

Organic & Fresh. There is a case to be made for asking an Aspie to go organic vegetarian since they tend to suffer from constipation, and retain heavy metals, and have trouble eliminating chemicals from their body. So, consuming whole, fresh, preservative and additive free food and pure water will greatly reduce their stress overall.

Aspie Creed

• Just because I have worked with and learned one Aspie does not mean I have met and understand all Aspies. Aspies share some traits, but no two are identical.
• It is never too late for me to learn about Asperger's Syndrome (AS), everyone had to begin by arming yourself with information.
• Not everyone with AS traits is an Aspie. You cannot know what a person goes through in their interior life.

Aspie Traits and my responses to them:

  Personal / Physical

• Repetitive routines or rituals--therefore, I shall not surprise him with changes after he begins.
• Engages in tasks (sometimes mundane ones) for hours--therefore, I shall engage him in meaningful tasks and feed him with beneficial routines, then I shall give him space to satiate himself to completion.
• Carries a Flat, or blank expression much of the time--just because he communicates flatly does not mean he does not feel strongly about what he is communicating.
• Doesn't always recognize faces right away (even close loved ones)--especially when recently engaged in an activity that required his deep focus. Therefore, I shall help him by prompting who he is meeting and cueing a positive response, so as to avoid embarrassment.
• Strong sensitivity to sound, touch, taste, sight, and smell (e.g. fabrics—won’t wear certain things, fluorescent lights--I shall remain empathic and compassionate and gather information about these realities and not belittle or antagonize him with such idiosyncrasies.
• Sensitivity to the texture of foods--my son struggles with chewing sinewy meat and vegetables and mushy textures such as avocado.
• Eccentric personality--I shall embrace my son's unique personality and sense of humor, and joy for obnoxious and playful behavior.
• Idiosyncratic attachment to inanimate object--I shall respect my son's choices to collect and arrange his treasures.
• Being "in their own world" / Preoccupied with their own agend--I shall respect my son's affinity for deep reading and thought when engaging in technology.
• Highly gifted in one or more areas--I shall actively fuel and facilitate my son's passion for Bassoon, Escape Adventureplay, Hip Hop Dance, Reading, Martial Arts, Math and Science.
• Single-mindedness--I appreciate my son's ability to zero-in and deep focus.
• Likes and dislikes can be very rigid--I shall respect my son's clear preferences and attempt to accommodate them.
• Can spend hours researching, loves learning and information--I shall offer my son plenty of time researching and adding to his Da Vinci Diary, to celebrate his teachable moments and add to his pool of knowledge.
• May have difficulty staying in college despite a high level of intelligence--I shall not demand or expect continuity in a course, only mastery and persistence in paths of value.
• Limited interests / Intense focus on one or two subjects--my son is a specialist
• Unusual preoccupations--my son is willing to deeply consider other aspects of this amazing world.
• Collects things--my son loves collecting things he becomes attached to, including Bey Blades, Lego Sets, Achievement trophies, etc.
• Clumsiness / Uncoordinated motor movements--my son takes a while to analyze and comprehend repetitive movements, but acquires them with time and practice, then perfects them.
• Speech and language peculiarities / hyperlexia (little professors) or, early in life may have a speech impediment--
• Non-verbal communication problems: difficulty reading body language, facial expression and tone--I appreciate my son's willingness to learn and differentiate the subtleties of non-verbal communication, especially when they contradict what is said.
• Word repetition (they may frequently repeat what you've just said)--I shall not be impatient with my son's process of imprinting and recalling what I have just communicated as it is his way of assimilating auditory communication.
• Excellent rote memory--I shall not be impatient with or belittle my son's ability to absorb vast amounts of peripheral visual information (e.g. the color of laser fire in a video game) even when I don't consider it important. 

Relationships

• We Can often be distant physically and/or emotionally--I shall attempt to facilitate meaningful interaction by cueing and reminding the spontaneous and importance of timely response to interaction.
• Often are attracted to another purely because they are attracted to us--I shall be patient and remain honest as my son navigates this emotionally charged journey of attraction.
• Alternatively, we can be obsessive--I shall be as honest as possible and help balance your perspective.
• May have a hard time saying I love you, showing physical affection--I don't see this as true, but I shall help you remember to appreciate your friends.
• We can be very critical--but I value your honesty.
• We takes things personally--I shall try to minimize your burden by not adding to your angst and frustration.
• We can be very loyal to one person--your friends are precious, and I pray that you will learn to maintain your best friendships globally and over time.
• Often times we will make no motions to keep a friendships going--and I will attempt to facilitate opportunities to engage with your friends.
• We need to withdraw and have solitude--I shall plan days (especially on vacations) to allow your rejuvenation.
• Men in particular find emotions messy and unquantifiable; If partner tries to share her love for him, he may find her need to “connect” smothering--emotions are scary, yes. But they are also exhilarating.
• Our attention is narrowly focused on our own interests--and that is just fine because that is how you have been made.
• Men with undiagnosed AS often feel as if their partner is being ungrateful or “bitchy” when she complains he is uncaring or never listens to her--I have been known to be selfish that way, taking care of my needs oblivious of others, so I have to be intentionally generous to others.
• He can become quite defensive when she asks for clarification or a little sympathy. The defensiveness can turn into verbal abuse (usually not physical abuse) as the man attempts to control the communication to suit his view of the world.--I shall seek to be patient and open, and not not steamroll my opinions or desires.

Social Interactions

• Desire for friendships and social contact but difficulty acquiring and maintaining them--therefore, my highest priority is to facilitate and help my son maintain relationships he cares about.
• Shuts down in social situations--usually in noisy environments with plenty of people, otherwise, it is a matter of acceptance.
• Social withdrawal / may avoid social gathering--usually in noisy environments with plenty of people.
• Lack of interest in other people--I don't see this issue in my son.
• Lack of empathy at times--occasionally blunt.
• Difficulty understanding others’ feelings--occasionally blunt.
• Can obsess about having friends to prove they’re “normal”--it is difficult to have a sister who is a social butterfly, which is why helping my son develop and maintain friendships with people who accept him is tantamount.
• Rigid social behavior due to an inability to spontaneously adapt to variations in social situations--I don't often see this in my son.
• Has an urge to inform that can result in being blunt / insulting--my son is very interested in protecting people's feelings, so while he might not understand why what he said or did was hurtful, it means a lot to him that he caused pain.
• Preoccupied with their own agenda--I only see this when under a lot of stress.
• Great difficulty with small-talk and chatter--I can relate to this and often wonder about the value of this, other than it is the precursor to more meaningful interaction if I am patient here and are trustworthy.  

 

FOCUSING ON THE POSITIVE:

1. Focus and diligence – The Asperger ability to focus on tasks for a long period of time without needing supervision or incentive is legendary.
2. Internal motivation – as opposed to being motivated by praise, money, bills or acceptance. This ensures a job done with conscience, with personal pride.
3. Independent, unique thinking – people with AS tend to spend a lot of time alone and will likely have developed their own unique thoughts as opposed to a ‘herd’ mentality.
4. Higher fluid intelligence – scientists in Japan have recently discovered that AS children have a higher fluid intelligence than non-autistic children. Fluid intelligence is "the ability to find meaning in confusion and solve new problems. It is the ability to draw inferences and understand the relationships of various concepts, independent of acquired knowledge.” (Wikipedia 2009) Experts say that those with AS have a higher than average general IQ as well.
5. Visual, three-dimensional thinking – some with AS are very visual in their thought processes, which lends itself to countless useful and creative applications.
6. Attention to detail – sometimes with painstaking perfection.
7. Honesty – the value of being able to say “the emperor isn’t wearing any clothes.”
8. Logic over emotion – although people with AS are very emotional at times, we spend so much time ‘computing’ in our minds that we get quite good at it. We can be very logical in our approach to problem-solving.

http://www.help4aspergers.com/pb/wp_4a3112c8/wp_4a3112c8.html 

Early Indications of Autism

Monica and I caught glimpses that Ian might have some sort of issues during his infant, through toddler phase:

1. Had a prolonged and difficult delivery--for us, it was 12 hours of hard labor, 8 hours of pushing, and an emergency C-section.
2. Began speaking late, had a soft mouth during attempted speech, and loved mimicking sounds instead of using words. We learned and taught Ian sign language to communicate early on and through the speech development.
3. Did not dump out his toys, but brought everything out one by one and lined them up in some order.
4. Did not respond when we called, but needed a touch to get his attention.
5. Stared intensely into your eyes.
6. Loved his "Johnny jump-up" and being bounced hard on his belly.
7. Would not heed common-sense dangers or show any sign of fear or concern--e.g. totter into oncoming traffic of any sorts. Throwing a rock at someone was fine because it was a "pretend stone".
8. Would not heed common-sense boundaries of social expectations--e.g. ducking under someone's flowing skirt to play hide and seek.

These indicators were identified by my brother-in-law who is a special education teacher, but because Ian was so high functioning and intelligent, we could not get a label for him.

~ Shien